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Kenneth Sewell to Run for Congress

4/1/2014

 
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CPN Presidential Candidate Kenneth Sewell has announced plans to run for congress. Seeking a seat as a Democrat in Louisiana's Congressional District 2, Sewell simply wants to make a difference.

Sewell is currently Vice President of Research and Economic Development at the University of New Orleans, but sees the transition to politics as a natural next step in the progression of his career.
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"Well, with my shift into a more administrative role at my current university, I've gotten knee-deep in university politics the last few years. And what's nastier than that? I figure compared to campus politics, congressional politics will be a cinch," said Sewell as he sipped a margarita while attending a fundraiser for his new political action committee, "Sew-PAC."

What will his agenda be?

"Roads," he said, solemnly. "I'm a big fan of roads. We need to build more of them and fast. I want to be the Robert Moses of Louisiana."

Is he prepared for the rough and tumble of politics? The negative campaigning?

"Indeed I am," he reported in that charming southern drawl that disarms listeners. "The fella running against me is a Tea Party hack unworthy of higher office. Besides, this is Louisiana, so there's a 50-50 chance he'll be caught taking bribes sometime between now and election day."

Are the people of New Orleans really ready to elect a constructivist psychologist as their next Congressman?

"Why not?" asked Sewell, flashing a quick grin. "The opportunities for connections between Louisiana politics and constructivist psychology are untapped, really. My plan is to offer Louisianans new constructive alternatives...and, of course, roads. Did I mention I'm a big fan of roads?"

Sewell's CPN colleagues were not entirely surprised to hear of his political aspirations, but reactions were mixed.

"I'd vote for him in a heartbeat!" exclaimed Sara Bridges, past CPN President and Associate Professor of Psychology at The University of Memphis. "He's dreamy!"

"Sewell's a Democrat?" snorted current CPN President Spencer McWilliams. "Who'd have thunk it? That guy's one helluva a political chameleon! But he is kinda dreamy."
And what about his CPN presidential run?

"Oh, that won't be a problem," stated Sewell with quiet confidence. "I'm an excellent multitasker. I'm thinking I can easily serve CPN and the 2nd Congressional District simultaneously. Might even be able to steer some PAC money towards the next international personal construct psychology congress if everything works out as planned."

Does he think he'll win?

"If I was a gambling man, I'd bet on it," he said with a wink.
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Election Day is November 4.

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